The Art of the Pivot
This is The Letter, something Glen and I share with our mailing list each month. Sometimes it's a story, sometimes a teaching, sometimes a piece of the book. This month's is mine.
As someone who has mastered the art of the pivot personally, I admittedly knew jack shit about pivoting in partnership. To clarify, I mean romantic partnership. In platonic or business partnerships, I had to grow that muscle too, but it's easier there than when a promise is made. Till death do us part.
Because you have a back door in most other partnerships. You can choose to go your own way if you're not seeing eye to eye. But in a committed romantic partnership, we choose to close that door.
So what do you do when things get hard and you can't walk away? When it seems like your needs and desires aren't being prioritized? Constantly finding the win for both people can be challenging. Exhausting, even. Yet we make a vow to "choose us," and that can feel at direct odds with choosing yourself.
I think it's why a lot of people don't pursue relationships. The fear of losing themselves in it. I get it. I have that same fear. Years of codependency proved it to be true.
But the potential reward outweighs the pain. To truly master the art of the pivot in partnership, so that both people can transcend their survival instincts and reach a healthier way of living, loving, and creating. One that champions both people's visions and honors the partnership as the portal to bring them to life.
Like the cocoon, it requires a melting down of our old selves and an unwavering trust in who we're becoming.
Not an easy path. A worthwhile one. And one that will ripple out into the rest of your life and relationships.
Change is inevitable. Our perceptions are malleable. For me, deciding to strive for mastery has meant seeing life as a perpetual training ground. My next frontier is seeing it as a perpetual playground, one to enjoy fully with my forever playmate.
The pivot as art. As a way to heal the parts of us that are scared to trust and be vulnerable, so we can keep growing and learning together.
Our mailing list gets these before they land here. If you don't want to miss the next one, sign up here.